This week has been difficult, not only because of the news that a high school student in China who disappeared for more than 100 days was finally found but had already died of suicide but also because a student of my undergraduate also committed suicide a few days ago. The news has once again brought the mental health of students to the fore, making people wonder what actually can be done to help those vulnerable people in despair. While browsing social media aimlessly, I accidentally clicked on a documentary. I don't know why, but there were tears in my eyes several times. While not the same movie we've talked about in previous blogs, I believe this documentary can help not only women who are suffering, but anyone in need of healing. The documentary is called -- Stutz.
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The documentary captures a candid conversation between Jonah Hill and his therapist Phil Stutz. Different from conventional mental therapy centered on patients, the film focuses on Stutz and his stories. By telling his childhood experiences and struggles with Parkinson's disease, combined with Hill's feedback on past treatments, the film demonstrates to the public several powerful tools that can be practiced to improve mental states.
(Jonah Hill and Dr. Stutz having a conversation; image derived from https://mindsitenews.org/2022/12/19/actor-jonah-hill-shares-his-therapist-with-the-world/)
Tools introduced include:
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Life Force: The only part of you that is capable of guiding you when you are lost. The three levels are the relationship with your physical body, the relationship with people, and the relationship with yourself.
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Part X: Part X is the voice of “impossibility” that keeps you from changing or growing. It’s both the judgemental part of you and the antisocial part of you.
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The String of Pearls: Imagine that each of your actions is a pearl, each of the same size and value. While each pearl will have a dark spot indicating that nothing you've made is truly perfect, the essence is to keep moving and add the next pearl to the string.
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The Shadow: The shadow is the version of yourself that you want to hide from the world the most and the part of you that you are ashamed of. Listen and talk to your shadow; ask it how it feels to be denied and try to honor and embrace it.
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The Snapshot / The Realm of Illusion: Most people in the world are striving for perfection, although reality contains three aspects that no one can avoid: uncertainty, pain, and constant work, so it is necessary to jump out of the snapshot and face the imperfect self.
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The Maze: The Maze is the product of Part X as it’s the visualization of a futile quest for fairness, which usually traps people in the past. To get out of the emotional and psychological weeds, individuals can visualize the person that they are angry at and send love to that person
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Radical acceptance: It is the antidote to judgment: instead of getting into negativity, train yourself to create a reflex to something meaningful and something that’s positive about yourself, others, and things that have already happened or will happen in the future.
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The Grateful Flow: The process of finding things that you feel grateful for and using the gratitude to penetrate the cloud created by Part X.
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Loss Processing: Loss processing is to get the potency of non-attachment. Pick something that you are afraid to let go of and say “I’m willing to lose it” and then pursue it fearlessly.
(Dr. Stutz’s visual presentation of “the String of Pearls”; image from https://www.netflix.com/tudum/articles/stutz-the-tools)
What surprised me the most in the film was not the effectiveness of the tools offered, but the charisma of Stutz himself. In my previous understanding of therapists, although they may have the ability to empathize with patients, which may either be gifted or acquired from the training and practices they have undergone, it may not be the true empathy that one has because of similar experiences. However, in the middle of the movie, I almost forgot who is the doctor and who is the patient in this conversation as the vulnerability that Stutz exposed was stunning and depressing, making me wonder how strong is his heart to be able to live optimistically, sit there, and listen to other people's stories. When I saw that he had to do over a hundred push-ups every day to keep his body from turning stiff, I felt deeply sorry for him while having more respect. His experience also reminds me of those who refuse to accept their vulnerability and either trap themselves in the shadow of trauma or isolate themselves from those who are willing to help. Probably just as he suggests, one can only move forward when being vulnerable; as long as one reacts positively, unpleasant experiences can still become the strength to move forward. Seeing what he has gone through, to some extent, has given me the courage to believe what he suggests and the willingness to use the tools.
(Dr. Stutz’s visual presentation of “The Maze”; image from https://www.netflix.com/tudum/articles/stutz-the-tools)
After watching the film, the first thing I did is looking for my Part X and maze. It may be due to the environment in which I grew up, instead of actively expressing opinions, I have been used to listening and conforming since I was a child. I always shrink back when confronted with opposing ideas and always doubt myself before making any decision, which has also led to a lot of teasing from my family and the people around me. So when I grew up, I seemed to be always looking for genuine trust and support from others while struggling with self-blame and various mental conflicts. Is it really possible to forgive those who have hurt you and send love to them as Stutz insists? I wish I could be so generous and kind but I'm skeptical of it. But even so, I am still more than willing to look at the past things differently in the future and try to overcome those voices in my heart.
(Dr. Phil Stutz; image from https://www.highonfilms.com/stutz-2022-netflix-documentary-review/)
I do believe that everyone holds his/her/their own fate and deserves a healthy mental state to move forward. While people are doomed to encounter all kinds of bad things and unfriendly people, they are just parts of life and there will always be more ways to adjust and get back on track.
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Still don't know what to do? Why not go watch Stutz and start with the tools?