What would you do if you knew you might be dying soon?
Will you feel fear, anxiety, insecurity, or begin to question the justice of fate?
I think I would, and I think most people would too, especially when one hasn't accomplished anything on his/her wish list. It is often said that people are always the soberest when they face death as it may make them re-examine their lives, relationships, and the meaning of being alive. but how to quickly adjust yourself from the overwhelming emotions may be the first puzzle.
This week, I watched the film Cléo from 5 to 7, which is a 1962 French New Wave film written and directed by Agnès Varda. The film tells the story of Cleo, a young singer who spends two hours wandering the streets of Paris between 5 and 7 p.m., waiting for the results of medical tests that may confirm a diagnosis of cancer. The film shows very realistically how a person reacts to the approach of death and also, more specifically, reveals women’s anxiety about their appearance and personal image.
（Cléo standing in the crowd, looking into the broken mirror, source from https://www.criterion.com/current/posts/87-cl-o-from-5-to-7)
In the film, what left me the most impression is the frequent close-ups of people's eyes and the mirrors. When Cléo was navigating the street or sitting in a cafe, people always stare at her, as if she was the focus of the street. Most of them were men, and some even approached her. While most of them were praising Cléo’s beauty, for Cléo, it still feels like being scrutinized under the male gaze. Men stared at her, looking at her from their own perspective as if looking at a beautiful object. Being stared at so frequently aroused Cléo’s uneasiness as she quickly walked through every crowd, constantly touching her face and worrying if there was something on her face. Gradually, the more people looked at her, the more she looked at herself.
It doesn't just happen to Cléo, it happens to every woman in society. The moment women walk on the street, they seem to be bound by an invisible standard that requires them to be conscious all the time, making them cannot help but keep looking at all the reflective objects around them, such as mirrors and glass. Probably as Cléo believes in the film: “I’d feel so exposed, afraid they’d find a fault,” more and more women nowadays desire to be perfect because they are too afraid of being picked on. Such fear of imperfection gradually evolves into shame about their own bodies, trapping women into a deeper predicament and making them farther and farther away from happiness.
(Cléo checking her appearance in the mirror, source from https://www.janusfilms.com/films/1038)
The phenomenon also reminds me of a concept that I learned from a previous psychology class, which is the "spotlight effect." It states that individuals have an innate tendency to believe they receive more attention than they actually do because people naturally see themselves as the center of the world. If so, what exactly is it that traps women? Is it someone else's gaze, or is it really their own?
I am not saying that the male gaze or social norm is not the cause of body shame, I am just proposing that maybe there is another option we all can choose, which is: be authentic to ourselves, treat ourselves well, and don't care too much about other people's judgments, because most of the time it is ourselves who bring the pressure, not others. Of course, this is only what individuals can do for themselves, but at the same time, I still genuinely hope that everyone can eventually unite to challenge the structural inequity that causes women's anxiety
(Cléo and Antoine happily chatting on the bus, screenshot from the movie)
Finally, I would like to share a line that impressed me the most in the whole film, which was said by Antoine after hearing Cléo’s concerns:
“Nudity should be for everyone, like summer. Nakedness is simplicity itself. Love, birth, the dawn, the sun, the beach, all that.”
Hope everyone can be proud of themselves so that even when death comes, we will be fearless.